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Roger 'Jolly Roger' is a small grumpy boy. Whilst out shopping for his 'miseryguts' mother, feeling sorry for himself as usual, Roger stumbles upon an advert in a shop window "joyn the pirates.. Cabin boy rekwired, no softees kneed apply" Roger thinks this is just the job to escape his miserable existence, he thinks he may even find his long lost dad. Just as he is daydreaming of being covered in scars and 'slicing his mum up like a salami' he is kidnapped by a group of hairy horrible pirates and stuffed in a sack. Next thing he knows is that he's surrounded by all kinds of pirates with 'bits missing- fingers, eyes, ears, even legs!'. Roger has a hard time understanding their 'Hinglish' so they introduce themselves with a song.."I'm walker the plank, that be me!".. "Portobello Billy, yer! A dirty dog, but I don't care!"

Jolly Roger is taken under his wing by a lonely pirate called Cookee, who dresses him like a pirate and teaches him the ropes. Meanwhile, at Roger's request, the other pirates go ashore to teach Roger's miserable mum a lesson, but who will get the better of who, the 'orrible pirates or the 'sourpuss' Mum?

A gallant tale told in a comic-strip style, Colin McNaughton is both illustrator and author, tying words and pictures up seamlessly in an exciting pen-drawn style which allows you to picture just how ugly the pirates are!

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